On Learning and Love

Love can be tricky. If you've been there, you know. Sometimes you fight because you think that something should work, you fight because you think it's the right thing to do. You fight. You battle. You make a fool out of yourself even though you went into the whole thing with pure intentions and a loving heart. You act completely out of character, You make yourself into a lovestruck idiot because you just don't want to give up. But in the end, you lose. You lose because you just kept poking. You kept pressing the issue. You lose because it hadn't been worth the fight, but you didn't realize. You didn't see. You let yourself be blinded by a charming smile, a warm feeling. You let yourself feel the pain, but you ultimately made it worse because if you'd just walked away at the first sign, you wouldn't have ha to endure such pain.

But that's what happens sometimes. We become blinded by smiles and emotions. We imagine a future that doesn't exist. A future that was never meant to be. We make mistakes. We say hurtful things. We react poorly to the heartache. And when it's all said and done, and we finally realize the mistakes we've made, we've dug a tidy hole for ourselves. So we try to dig out. Sometimes this makes the hole deeper. Because at this point, it's time to stop trying and take a step back. It's time to stop trying. It's amazing, the level of understanding we can reach when we finally take that step back, distance ourselves, and look at the whole picture. It's messy when emotions get involved. It's messy when you try too hard. It shouldn't be so hard. If it's right. And that's the lesson. It's not always right. Sometimes  it's wrong. So very wrong, but wrong can feel right when feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, and passion are in play. These things can make wrong so right. That's the hardest part. Learning right from wrong. Finding the truth of the matter. Clarity really is amazing. Clarity brings us back from our breaking point and helps us transition from what we thought we wanted. Clarity brings us on the road to recovery, to what's real and what's right. Clarity brings us out of the drama. Out of the blind passion. The blind rage. The fighting. Clarity hands us new chances, new opportunities.

We can't possibly know what the future holds. It's not for us to know. Either because the future hasn't been written, or because it's fluid. It changes. It's not set in stone. We can't hold fast to thoughts of what could be. We can't hold on to the dreams, the hopes. It's not healthy to surrender to an idea, to a feeling and ignore the warning signs. It's not fair. To anyone. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to them. At some point, you have to recognize. At some point, I have to recognize. With recognition, with clarity, with change, you embrace the new. You let yourself find out about new ideas, new people. New feelings. You move on. You grow. You learn.

Life experiences are each lessons. Both lessons taught, and lessons learned. Lessons we struggle with. Lessons we accept. Lessons hat change us. We are forever learning. Forever teaching. Forever growing. Forever students in the classroom of life.