Can this be considered cruelty?

I'm fairly certain that I blogged before about the lack of enthusiasm and interest I am having in this semester. Can I just say that the events of today are not helping my enthusiasm in this semester.

This is really not fair. Really.

That about sums up my mood for today. And I even woke up with an optimistic feeling in my heart. I really wanted to be optimistic about today. And I just can't. I can't be optimistic, I can't be happy when I have a sinking feeling of impending doom. A sinking feeling of dread, and misery and all that I really want to do is forget there is a test in the next class. I really just want to go home and face this crappy weekend head on. Face the rest of my crappy day head on. But there is nothing I can do to change what is coming, so I will try to face the rest of my day with a smile on my face and a little bit of optimism.

Any words of wisdom, or words of encouragement anyone wants to throw my way would be greatly appreciated. Cause right now, I got nothin'.

WOW (really there is nothing else I can think of to say...)

This officially sucks. I am officially hating this semester, and especially my classes. In honesty, one class in particular. and let me just say, that this blog is supposed to be helping my anxiety level. I am suppose to feel better by letting my aggressions out in text

honestly, I feel like crying. I really, really feel like crying. In fact I may run to the bathroom and do so on the sly.

NEWS FLASH: TODAY IS TEST DAY. APPARENTLY THIS ALSO MEANS BINDER CHECK DAY. not only am I fairly certain, thanks to a freshly posted online pre-test that I am going to fail, but I left my binder at home. I thought to myself as I left it out of my backpack, why carry around a bunch of dead weight when I won't need any of it for class. wow. I feel like screaming, and then crying, and finally jumping up and down in rage, before finally falling into bed and sleeping for a week. I feel unprepared. Under informed, and completely annoyed at the structure of this damn class.

SO in the interest of my sanity, my emotions, and my stress level, I would like to propose a no homework this weekend rule. I would like to lounge around on saturday and re-read about Jamie *SWOON* (to steal straight from patty's comment). I would like to bake some banana bread. to play Karaoke on the wii to lighten the mood. To watch a funny movie, and maybe a love story. I would like to read more about Jamie (this really could help my mood). I would also like to spend the weekend bonding with the girls.

However, as wonderful as that could be, I am well aware of how entirely unrealistic this is. Instead I have a shit-ton of homework. Including creating a lesson for first graders, reading a boring book for english, more science homework (which at this point I feel even less motivated to do) a few chapters of psychology reading, and more that I can't come up with off the top of my head. and all of this fun homework will be precluded by cleaning the bathroom. Doing a marathon of laundry, and scrubbing the kitchen floor.

So blog people, while this is supposed to help my mood, the path my recent entry has taken is not helping. It is the opposite actually. I suppose I'll go sit in the corner with my ipod and try to make calm out of the fit I feel like I am about to spiral into. And imagine the perfect weekend that could be.

Welcome Back.

His eyes are piercing blue, his hair is thick and red. He is tall, muscular, lean. He speaks in a thick scottish accent. He is wildly romantic, and wildly protective. He will do anything to protect his family. His wife. He is wonderful with horses, great with children. He stands by his principles, and all he asks in return is love and honesty. He is handsome, and principled. He is also a warrior. He is always getting hurt, and making trouble, but it makes for one seriously adventurous life.

He is maybe the greatest character in the history of the written word (debatable? maybe, but i am a fan, so at the moment I can't help but feel this way.)

HE is Jamie. The lead male in the outlander book series. and I am in love.

I recently had to pick up a book for my english class from amazon, and thought while I was at it, that I might as well pick up the new graphic novel based on the outlander series. It took awhile to get to me, but now that I have it, I remember why I fell in love with this character, this series in the first place.

Jamie, I missed you. It's been awhile since I finished book 7. It'll be awhile more until book eight is even out. (if ever, it's still a mystery) all that I know is that I missed you and I am so glad that you have re-entered my life. I hope you stay awhile. You have a way of making even the crappiest days, the crappiest semesters seem better. I'm thinking it's time to revisit book one. That way I know you'll be around for a very long time. (at least seven books worth.)

Mmmmmm Peanuts.

I found these peanuts at Safeway. I thought they may be a good snack, so I bought them. I was a little apprehensive, sometimes peanuts are wonderful, sometimes they are not. The moral of this story is that I have fallen in love with these peanuts. I am in love with these peanuts. They are the perfect blend of salty, and peanut flavor. The drawback here, is that I could sit here and eat about a million of them at a sitting. I'm sure that is not a good thing. So the first time I bought them I bought a small little container, and when I went back I found that the larger container was actually cheaper. SCORE. And while this is fantastic for my pocketbook, it's not so much for my waistline. But oh well, I have new peanuts and I love them.

I am Terrible at this...

I just noticed that I only made one post last month. That is terrible. Bad, Bad Karin. And so far this month, my record is not much better. (I think that two in one day only counts as one...). So here is my promise, I PROMISE to be better at this. I PROMISE to post more often. I really do have things to say. I am full of thoughts. So, why oh why do I neglect the one platform I have to post these thoughts? So this week I PROMISE to post at least once more, ideally twice more. I am making a new goal for myself, Post at least once a week in this blog... It really will be beneficial. Now let's just hope that I keep my promise. (I'm usually really great at keeping promises...)

a brief hello

I caught a moment in between classes today, and realized that I have been a terribly neglectful blogger. So, laptop in hand, I sat down to say a brief hello to the blog world (and to my most loyal reader, possibly my only reader, Patty. hello Patty). Now, I am have an inner dialogue with myself, trying to decide what exactly I have to say that won't take up massive amounts of both text and time. so far the predominant theme is how tired I am. That seems to be the one thing that is always predominant. at least recently. I would like to mention how excited I am. Today i decided to ditch my current area of concentration, and pick up a minor in creative writing. (before you get too excited, I meet with the counselor on thursday, hopefully to make this official.) This means that I am adding 26 units to my course load, and while a sane person may think I'm nuts I defend this choice this way:

I have been in college for a while, and what is a few more classes if they make me happy?

I have previously been an english major twice in my college career, and I traded it all in for a teaching program. I miss my english classes.

I would much prefer to minor in creative writing and spend my time doing something I love as opposed to something I hate.

And finally, I love creative writing.

I am so excited to make this change official. And while I am tired, and in serious need of a long nap, I think of the classes I will have in the future as a part of my new minor, and I get excited all over again. And shouldn't I get to be excited about something? I think so...